As the lunar new year comes around (yet again), and the usual humdrum of celebrations causes all things to fade into the noise, I found myself somehow deeply sad and lonely.
Festivities have a way of doing that, beckoning that realisation that something is not quite the way I’ll like them to be. And I find myself grappling yet again with a deep sense of – God, why didn’t things turn out the way I hoped it will, despite my fervent prayers and desperate cries, if you would. Cries that have gone on for years that do not see fulfillment as I hope them to be.
Yet, in this episode of deep sorrow, I was reminded gently by the Holy Spirit – ‘Have you invited Jesus to sit with you in this?’
And almost like a light bulb turned on, I had to admit I hadn’t.
Somewhere in my heart, I had wanted to get through my struggle on my own, and then come back to God to say ‘God, I’m disappointed, but I’m still here. I haven’t left.’
But here is Jesus saying to me: “Let me sit with you in this grief. I feel your pain. I understand you.”
What a revelation to me.
And in that moment I allowed Him in, I experienced a deep sense of being known, feeling understood and not forgotten. His love just swept in – gently, deeply, surely.
In my grief, I was reminded that “Jesus wept” (John 11:35) when Lazarus died.
Many times, I behave like Mary and Martha saying to Jesus: “Lord if you have been here, my brother (the situation that is so dear to my heart) would not have died.” (John 11:21, 32)
Hadn’t I sent word like Mary and Martha did? “Lord the one you love is sick”(John 11:3) Hadn’t I pleaded for Jesus to come through to help in a matter so dear to me and Him? Yet it almost seemed like He didn’t hear it, or chose not to intervene. No wonder the situation died. Or so I felt.
The fact that Jesus came after Lazarus death and wept reminded me that Jesus’ delay had a purpose. And in that suffering and grief we feel, Jesus is there and Jesus knows and Jesus is deeply moved.
The good news is, it doesn’t just end in death. In that grief, Jesus calls forth the resurrection of Lazarus, that those around may believe that the Father sent him. It is for God’s glory so that God’s son may be glorified through it (John 11:4).
In the same way, Jesus wants to speak forth his resurrection into our grief. Only He can resurrect hope, only He can bring forth life in dead places in our hearts, only He can bring healing into the scarred areas of our lives.
Jesus wants to sit with us in our grief and He wants to take us out of it with His resurrection power. The question is, will we allow Him to? Do we believe His ability to do so? Will we lay down our well-laid out hopes and dreams, and allow Him to write His plans into our lives.
I know I want to, and prayfully you will say yes to Him too!|
– Xiaoqing
Thrive Church 